Feminist by Default

I can't spend time in Mexico without being affected by all my life experiences. I'm a woman in a foreign country, and I'm aware of the different treatment of women in various countries, some worse than others. I have never been a serious woman's rights activist, but I am wondering if being American makes me a feminist by default.

I have noticed an enormous difference when I am walking alone, walking with other women, and being out with a man. Usually, when I am out by myself or with friends, there are stares, rude comments and just people being mean. Men make ridiculous comments about "Negrita" this, "negrita" that, and women stare and people are just different.

Yesterday, I walked through the mercado here in Morelia with a male friend, and it was so different, and so quiet. Sure, there were stares, but they were more subtle. It seemed to me that no one would dare openly question my honor in the presence of a man.

I should be offended that I have to have a man with me to have a good experience, and the difference in treatment bothers me a little. But I am also a woman and I like feeling protected. All I had to do was reach for his arm and the comments and stares vanished. Maybe there is something comforting (or extremely backwards) about the idea that having a man near me gives me status. I am not sure yet.